A Christian Girl in a Christian World

When you make fun of George W. Bush you make fun of Jesus

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 03:39:46 GMT

Dear friends,

I find myself unable to sleep tonight. You see, I was somewhat hurt by the mean and irritating comments many people have made in their journals about our nation's great
leader.

Maybe it is true that George W. Bush isn't the smartest man in the world, as many have pointed out by insulting his lack of intelligence, but he has something better -- he has God!

Did you know George W. Bush, Jr. actually created a holiday in Texas known as Jesus day? It's true! Here is a copy of when he, as governor of the large state of Texas, made the proclamation:

Throughout the world, people of all religions recognize Jesus Christ
as an example of love, compassion, sacrifice and service. Reaching
out to the poor, the suffering and the marginalized, he provided
moral leadership that continues to inspire countless men, women and
children today.
To honor his life and teachings, Christians of all races and
denominations have joined together to designate June 10 as Jesus
Day. As part of this celebration of unity, they are taking part in
the 10th annual March for Jesus in cities throughout the Lone Star
State. The march, which began in Austin in 1991, is now held in
nearly 180 countries. Jesus Day challenges people to follow Christ's
example by performing good works in their communities and
neighborhoods. By nursing the sick, feeding the poor or volunteering
in homeless shelters, everyone can play a role in making the world a
better place.
I urge all Texans to answer the call to serve those in need. By
volunteering their time, energy or resources to helping others,
adults and youngsters follow Christ's message of love and service in
thought and deed.
Therefore, I, George W. Bush, Governor of Texas, do hereby proclaim
June 10, 2000, Jesus Day in Texas and urge the appropriate
recognition whereof, in official recognition whereof, I hereby affix
my signature this 17th day of April, 2000.

The next time anyone decides to make fun of George W. Bush, Jr. you should realize you are also making fun of Jesus.

Lovingly,

Sarah Clodfelter

P.S. I feel much better after posting this. I think I may be able
to finally get some sleep now!

Please HELP, my Christian friends

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 19:45:33 GMT

Please read. I have included two important news items.

With hope,

Sarah Clodfelter

THE SECOND COMING PROJECT

The Second Coming Project is a not-for-profit organization devoted to bringing about the Second Coming of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, as prophesied in the Bible, in time for the 2,000th anniversary of his birth. Our intention is to clone Jesus, utilizing techniques pioneered at the Roslin Institute in Scotland, by taking an incorrupt cell from one of the many Holy Relics of Jesus' blood and body that are preserved in churches throughout the world, extracting its DNA, and inserting into an unfertilized human egg (oocyte), through the now-proven biological process called nuclear transfer. The fertilized egg, now the zygote of Jesus Christ, will be implanted into the womb of a young virginal woman (who has volunteered of her own accord), who will then bring the baby Jesus to term in a second Virgin Birth.

If all goes according to plan, the birth will take place on December 25, 2005, thus making Anno Domini 2005 into Anno Domini Novi 1, and all calendrical calculations will begin anew.

How Can This Be Possible?
a. Modern cloning technology enables us to clone any large mammal - including humans - using just a single cell from an adult specimen.
b. Throughout the Christian world are churches that contain Holy Relics of Jesus' body: his blood, his hair, his foreskin. Unless every single one of these relics is a fake, this means that cells from Jesus' body still survive to this day.
c. We are already making preparations to obtain a portion of one of these relics, extract the DNA from one of its cells, and use it to clone Jesus.

No longer can we rely on hope and prayer, waiting around futilely for Jesus to return. We have the technology to bring him back right now: there is no reason, moral, legal or Biblical, not to take advantage of it.

IN ORDER TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM SIN, WE MUST CLONE JESUS TO INITIATE THE SECOND COMING OF THE CHRIST.

The Second Coming Project is soliciting contributions and donations to help us is our quest. Time is short! We must have a fertilized Jesus zygote no later than April of 2005 if Baby Jesus is to come to term on the predicted date. Please send all contributions to:

The Second Coming Project
P.O. Box 295
Berkeley, CA 94701

ALSO....

Modern People News has revealed plans for the filming of a movie based on the SEX LIFE OF JESUS in which Jesus is portrayed as a swinging HOMOSEXUAL. This film will be shot in the U.S.A. this year unless the public outcry is great. Already a French Prostitute has been named to play the part of Mary Magdalene, with who Christ has a blatant affair. We CANNOT AFFORD to standby and DO NOTHING about this disgrace. We must not allow this perveted world to drag our Lord through the dirt. PLEASE HELP us to get this film banned from the U.S.A. as it has been in Europe. Let us show how we feel.

Detach and mail the form below to the address shown. Make a few copies and give them to your friends. Only one name per copy.

--------------------------------------------------------

Attorney General Scott,
301 South Second Street,
Springfield
ILLINOIS 62606

Dear Attorney General Scott,

I would like to protest, in the strongest terms possible, the production, filming, and showing of any movie that supposedly depicts the sex life of JESUS CHRIST by MODERN PEOPLE NEWS, 11030 West Addison Street, Franklin Park, Illinois 60181.

Such a movie would be blasphemous and would be an outrage and contrary to the truth. We urge you to take proper action against this moral corruption.

NAME:...................................................
ADDRESS:.............................................
CITY:.....................................................
STATE:..............................CODE:..........

Let's ban pornography from the internet!

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 05:40:04 GMT

Hello, friends,

This message is aimed at the "gentleman" who decided it was appropriate to post all of the nude photographs as a reply to my journal. I am extremely disappointed in this action, and I thank the good lord above that my husband is in the shower right now so he does not have to see this abomination!

You see, photos of this nature simply are not appropriate. I have a nice night out on the town, enjoying myself at the Christian Society dance (even after the incident with Pastor Will), and then I come home tired and tuckered. I expect to find
some nice e-mail expressing some good cheer from friends, but instead I find an e-mailbox of filth.

We should enjoy only our spouses in the nude, and certainly not cartoon nudity as was posted to my LiveJournal. Nude photos only serve as tasteless and disgusting reminders of how impure it is to be unfaithful to your beloved. Again, I am so glad my husband is in the shower so he does not have to see these terrible photos. He would truly have a heart attack, yes he would.

And my children! God bless their little angelic selves have been tucked away in bed for at least two hours.

Just to see how prevalent pornography is on the internet, I did a web search. I found many sites, and I was saddened by this. I eagerly clicked on one of the links -- to see what kind of sick content was there, of course -- and it showed NAKED MALE CELEBRITIES. It was called "Horsey's" or something like that.

When I saw these sinful pictures -- the picture of Ashton Kutcher from That Vulgar 70's Show displaying his buttox, for example -- I am amazed at how far celebrities will go for attention. It's already bad that he dates an old whore like Demi Moore, but did he really need to show his buttox?

Then there's the picture of Brad Pitt galavanting around a pool completely nude! How unsanitary! I don't know this Brad Rowe fellow, but seeing his rear end pressed up against a chain link fence,well, what does that suggest? I already struggle to keep my son away from Fred Durst and his awful rock music, but seeing how Durst is exposing his penis in a picture -- well, I think there's a better way to show off your huge manhood, Mr. Durst -- it's to show it only to your wife! And how about those pictures of George Clooney, Guy Pearce, and Hugh Jackman with their bare behinds displayed as if they believed God would think it is acceptable. I can expect this from the likes of Clooney and Pearce (after all, weren't they once drag queens), but Hugh Jackman seemed so nice in Kate & Leopold.

The kicker, however, was Kevin Bacon. Is it just my imagination, or is he erect in the photo I saw? I had to print it out on my printer to get a better look, but I still could not tell. I think I will study it later.

Regardless, he should not be posing nude in a shower in a movie -- all that water dripping all over his naked body. It is wrong!

Thank God my husband got out of his own shower so I did not have to examine the sinful nature of the other photos.

No, instead I decided to write a note to my LiveJournal admonishing the abberant behavior of downloading porn. I will now go to bed with my husband. Just examining these photos and writing about their demonic tones has forced God to spark an energy inside of me that makes me want to take my husband to bed even more. He and I have not had sex since we conceived our last child, but God was pushing some magic button inside of me while looking at the pictures of these naked movie hunks that told me I needed a man to take me AND THAT MAN IS MY HUSBAND! It is not a sin.

Because I will be doing it as a wife, and so therefore my lust will be warranted.

I hope my story of love between my husband and I has served as an inspiration to you all. With true, holy love all will prevail.

God Bless,

Sarah Clodfelter

Satan has invaded my church!

Sat, 17 Jul 2004 22:24:32 GMT

I have the worst news in the world! As if the baby problems that have been resting upon my mind haven't been bad enough; as if my husband's issues that he has been discussing with me do not already weigh heavy; today I learned that Pastor Will, the recently appointed Shepherd of our Flock, has been sent to destroy my church by Satan!

Let me explain...

Today, at the committe meeting for the Summer Social Dinner, I learned that we cannot hold the annual event when we usually do. We have had it on the same week of my birthday ever since I started going to my church years ago! Well, as it turns out, it has to be moved this year because Pastor Will... Pastor Will, of all people... is going to take the Youth Group to some Christian event at Worlds of Fun. What in the world does Worlds of Fun have to do with being Christian? When I asked why the trip couldn't be changed, it was explained to me that many youth groups are going to Worlds of Fun for that week and that they were going to exchange the joy of the lord.

Exchange the joy of the lord? Absolutely not! They are going to FORNICATE, maybe even pillage!

Well, I marched right in to Pastor Will (we were already supposed to meet today) and I told him all about it and he told me, "Well, maybe the Lord wants to move it." If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is people who try to speak on behalf of the Lord. I know God chose him to lead us, but to be honest he is a little young and he even wears tennis shoes around town. How can a man of the cloth be seen in such dreck! It's positively sinful!

AND as if that were not enough... he accused ME, one of God's most dedicated followers, of being SELFISH. Can you imagine?

Well, I thought I would push that conversation aside to dicuss what our meeting was originally about. I have heard rumors that Jessica, a new girl at our church, was into drugs. When I began to discuss this with him, he seemed very concerned and asked me what I knew. When I explained to him that I saw some strange leaves in her garden, he asked what they looked like. When I told him, he explained to me that they were not marijuana leaves and then proceeded to tell me EXACTLY WHAT A MARIJUANA LEAF LOOKS LIKE! I know, friends, I know: HOW DOES HE KNOW! I have come to the conclusion that PASTOR WILL IS A POT HEAD! Then he laughed off the information I gave him about Jessica and told me, "Perhaps you should worry about taking care of you. That's all God can ask of us."

Well, once more I thought I would redeem myself and I told him about this boy, Cody, and this guy, Eric, who sent me posts on LiveJournal about how homosexuality is not that bad. I knew this would win Pastor Will over. Well, when I handed him printouts of what these boys had written on their LiveJournals, Pastor Will said, "I think these boys have probably faced a lot of discrimination and a very tough time coming to terms with who they are. The world isn't kind to gay, bisexual, or lesbian people. Maybe we should pray for understanding."

Finally -- something I THOUGHT I could agree with -- so I said, "Yes, let's pray to turn them straight!"

And Pastor Will -- A MAN OF GOD, SUPOSEBLY, SAYS, "Well, you know that it is questionable as to whether or not the Bible is really condemning homosexuality. Instead, I think we should pray for tolerance."

That was it. I just clenched my fists, felt my face flush, and then yelled, "YOU ARE THE DEVIL!" And I ran out.

And on the way out I saw Lana Johnson, who I know plans on seducing Pastor Will.

Has the devil made his way into my church? Help me friends!

In crisis,

Sarah

Question about milk

Sat, 17 Jul 2004 05:28:00 GMT

This is a question for anyone who may know a great deal about milk.

Do you think goat's milk is good for a baby? My little sister's (not my real little sister, but from the sorority I was in in college) baby keeps urping up cow's milk, and it's gotten to be quite disgusting. It often creates a smell her husband complains about. I don't know what to do, and to be honest I think it's affecting our spiritual and personal lives. I was so frustrated by the whole urping thing the last time I visited Jen (that is my little sister's name) the last time it happened I yelled at my oldest son, Jacob, when it took him too long to get a wash cloth. I was so upset I even yelled the "D" word at him.

If you would answer as soon as possible that would be helpful.

I would also like to ask everyone in the club to pray for my friend and her urping baby. The baby's name is Ruth (biblical names are the best!) and she's just the sweetest thing. I read her Bible verses when I visit and tell her what a good girl she will grow up to be, especially if she abstains from drugs and sex. It is never too soon to teach a child these things. It takes a village, you know.

I also do things to make her laugh and let her know she has a funny aunt.

This reminds me: watch soon for my new Yahoo Group called God's Comedy Club. I'll post an invite to my LiveJournal so all the Christians can join.

I have to go now. Early in the morning I have to go to a committee meeting
for my favorite church event, and later in the afternoon I will finally meet with Father Will who postponed our meeting from today.

Sarah Clodfelter

"And God shall cure the wicked."

So many people cuss on LiveJournal!

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 19:53:55 GMT

I do not agree with the language, but I am willing to endure it because I think this is the perfect place to convert the lost.

God has told me He believes LiveJournal to be a valuable tool in spreading His word, and I will work hard to support Him and His devine interventions.

Tonight my boys and I will watch The Ten Commandments. We usually watch it once a year, around Easter, when it airs on ABC. ABC is owned by Disney, so it is one of the few channels I will allow my children to watch. Anyhow, I just love The Ten Commandments, and I just can't wait for Easter to watch it again. It may be a sin to overindulge on this fine film, but it does star that fine Christian Charlton Heston so I suppose I can tolerate it.

Does anyone here like Mike Warnke? He is a Christian comedian. He just tickles me.

Well, I should get to bed. I am tired and cranky from staying up so late last night. My husband really wants to talk to me tonight before bed, too, so I may be up late again.

God bless,

Sarah

Live Journal as a Godly Tool

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 05:31:41 GMT

Hello!

My name is Sarah Clodfelter. I am using my real name because I want
everyone to know who I am.

In these times of uncertainty, when God is closer than ever to returning to his children, we must examine how LiveJournal can be used as an effective tool in church and morality.

We have seen many incidents plague society in just the past few days. Why, Mr. Bush, a good Christian, is attacked on a daily basis by liberals such as Michael Moore (who does not keep his body, the temple of God, in good shape). And who can blame him, what with the liberal media spreading lies about how he made things up just to start a war. Those hatemongers should be punished!

And the homosexual agenda just moved forward another step by them bamboozling those silly liberals into voting against a marriage amendment. I am so angry now!

These plagues will continue as long as God's word is not spread to its fullest. His love is evident if we harvest it.

Please let me know how you feel about LiveJournal being used as a means
of education concerning religion. I look forward to your views!

Also, if you know of any other LiveJournal users who may be interested in my words of wisdom (learned from the big cheese in the sky, as my dear husband Roger likes to call him), please tell me so I can spread the Gospel to them as well.

I start this new LiveJournal dedicated to this divine principle. I encourage all Christian LiveJournal users to enjoy in fellowship and spirit.

Sarah